You guys? You remember my picture from the other day where I said my dog was going to crap a yard sale? Well, this is way way worse…
Do you know what that is? It’s our wedding album. The professional one from the photographer. Seriously, I couldn’t breathe when I realized what it was. I walked up to my front door and had my key in the lock, put the pieces together in my head, and slowly removed my key from the door, turned around and sat on the back of my car for a while. I may have also called my husband and told him he needed to come get his dog before I killed her. Now, I’d never actually do something like that, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I had hate in my heart at that moment.
I had had it. I walked in, dragged her to her crate, walked through the mess and up to my bathroom floor where I stayed, crying, for the next hour. Ugh, just thinking about it gives me that sick feeling.
So, I’m sorry I disappeared in the middle of the 10 days of you, but I had kind of a lot on my plate trying to figure out how I could keep my dog restrained in her crate. Success: zip ties!
1) Losing the people I love unexpectedly (or even expectedly). It was an irrational fear for a while, but then it happened. And now sometimes I’ll become paralyzed with the fear that it’ll happen again.
2) Spiders and roaches. I am NOT a fan. I just don’t like anything that doesn’t belong in my house wandering around like they own the place. I can tolerate roaches outside but not spiders.
3) Heights. I’ve gotten a little better with this one, but don’t let me fool you, I’m still scared. When I was a kid we went to the top of the Kennedy Space Center. My brother was hanging over the edges looking down, etc. I found the exact center of the building and crouched down. I wish I were joking.
4) Driving/ car accidents. I just don’t trust anyone else on the road. And don’t even get me started on driving at night in the rain.
5) Being jumped/robbed/ have my house broken into, etc. Scares the crap out of me.
6) Going through my entire life and never getting anything published. It’s a different kind of fear, and one I have some control over, but a fear none-the-less.
7) Choking on something while home alone. I know how to do the Heimlich on myself on a chair or hard surface, but I’m so afraid that I’d panic and just die. I’m pretty freaking morbid, aren’t I?
8) Finding out I can’t have children. Children aren’t anywhere in our near future, but I’ve always wondered if I’m even able to. Can’t imagine finding out that I couldn’t. And on a lighter note, I’d be pissed that I wasted all that money on birth control, too!
That was hard. Because most of my fears I realize are somewhat silly. Or ridiculous. And I shouldn’t spend my time worrying about these things, but hey. I do. Am I crazy and alone on any of these?
Be sure to stick around for the FIRST ever post in my new series on Thursday! You won’t want to miss it!