Let’s talk for a minute about this. Though this is a simple statement, it resonates so deep in my soul I felt the earth move when I read it. It can mean so much. It can mean so very little. And suddenly a slideshow of all those who are no longer a part of my life plays on the backs of my eyelids.
In all those final moments, the ones from which you know there is no return, the pain is startling. It’s deafening and suffocates the life right out of you. Or you wish it would, rather. Remember the quite moments after a breakup? The deeds been done and you’re left standing in a puddle of your own tears with your life avalanching upon you. Realizing there isn’t a spot for some people in our future is painful. I wish at sixteen I could have seen the perspective that I have now. They had to get out of my life to make room for the life I have now. The husband I love; the friends that drop everything and come running when needed.
It’s been an awful long time since I’ve gone through a breakup. I’m lucky, I realize. But breakups don’t always have to be with significant others. You can breakup with a friend. And sometimes, those are more painful. You half expect some romantic relationships to end. In fact, you know there’s only room for one real love, so romantic breakups happen. It’s common knowledge. But it’s the friend breakups, I think, that really change a person.
It’s been a while since I’ve gone through one of those, too. But I’ve been a close witness to one the last few months. It’s ugly and nasty. It’s hard to watch and almost impossible to console. Because it’s when we let people in, and we allow them to get close and trust them, it hurts to no end when that trust is betrayed and suddenly they go from friend to foe. We analyze like crazy and try to pinpoint that moment when everything changed. And hindsight’s 20/20. We play the “what if” game. We blame ourselves for ever letting them in in the first place.
Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past because of one simple reason. They just don’t belong in our future.