A lot [86]

You have days you just want to cry?  You do?  Good, I’m not alone.  I literally had to swallow tears all day long.  I am stressed to the max for too many reasons and I just need to take a second and count my wonderful blessings because I am blessed.  I am.  Don’t let me fool you into believing for a second that I’m not because I am.

May…may may may.  You always seem to surprise me and fill me with stress and hope.  I know how I was feeling on this very day last year.  Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the night my love finally proposed to me.  Which sounds like a happy day, right?  Right.  Well, on this day last year he fell asleep on the phone with me and failed to respond or answer for hours.  I panicked and of course let my mind wander to the worst place ever and his mother and I ended up calling the police to wake him (he was in Athens, we were still in Raleigh and knew not a soul in GA).  I was scared and sad and angry and worried and then suddenly tremendously relieved.  My mom took me out for Goodberrys ice cream that night because I just needed it.  I wish we could do the same tonight.

Or maybe have a S&TC, wine veg & vent night with the BFF.  Whom, by the way, I miss so much my heart hurts all the time.  I like being here.  I like my life here now but there are just so many people who are missing from my life here.  So many people I need and miss and whom I took for granted when they were around all the time.

[dear friend.  I need you.  badly.]

Okay, enough.  Enough enough.  Sorry, I may or may not have already dipped into the beer in the fridge.  But trust me, after today a beer or two is necessary.

May– I have lots of hopes for you.  Goals?  Maybe not.  I don’t know that these can be goals because at this point I really have no control over most of them.  Or at least the most important one of them…

BY THE END OF THE MONTH I HOPE TO….

**know where we will be living**

successfully start and stick with the C25K program

get rid of a lot of stuff

have a car again?  Please?


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About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
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