You have days you just want to cry? You do? Good, I’m not alone. I literally had to swallow tears all day long. I am stressed to the max for too many reasons and I just need to take a second and count my wonderful blessings because I am blessed. I am. Don’t let me fool you into believing for a second that I’m not because I am.
May…may may may. You always seem to surprise me and fill me with stress and hope. I know how I was feeling on this very day last year. Today marks the 2 year anniversary of the night my love finally proposed to me. Which sounds like a happy day, right? Right. Well, on this day last year he fell asleep on the phone with me and failed to respond or answer for hours. I panicked and of course let my mind wander to the worst place ever and his mother and I ended up calling the police to wake him (he was in Athens, we were still in Raleigh and knew not a soul in GA). I was scared and sad and angry and worried and then suddenly tremendously relieved. My mom took me out for Goodberrys ice cream that night because I just needed it. I wish we could do the same tonight.
Or maybe have a S&TC, wine veg & vent night with the BFF. Whom, by the way, I miss so much my heart hurts all the time. I like being here. I like my life here now but there are just so many people who are missing from my life here. So many people I need and miss and whom I took for granted when they were around all the time.
Okay, enough. Enough enough. Sorry, I may or may not have already dipped into the beer in the fridge. But trust me, after today a beer or two is necessary.
May– I have lots of hopes for you. Goals? Maybe not. I don’t know that these can be goals because at this point I really have no control over most of them. Or at least the most important one of them…
BY THE END OF THE MONTH I HOPE TO….
**know where we will be living**
successfully start and stick with the C25K program
get rid of a lot of stuff
have a car again? Please?