Lately I’ve been doing a lot of self analysis. Which truthfully is never a good thing for me. Because I hold on to things people say to me. Things they probably don’t realize stick with me. Things they probably say half jokingly/half seriously without really meaning anything by them. I hear you. I listen to you. I hold on to it all. I always have.
Do people think that I don’t realize that I talk a lot? Trust me, people. I’m with me all the time. I’m aware I talk a whole lot. I’ve tried working on this in the past. I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut. I’ve tried to be the quiet type. But that’s just not me. I don’t know why I talk so much, and I’m sure almost all of what I say doesn’t get listened to. But I’m a talkative person. Deal with it. I’m sure there are worse qualities to have. But I’ve always been self conscious of this one. My family, my friends and even people who don’t know me point this out to me all the time. I can’t tell if it’s an insult or not, but most of the time I take it that way. I talk. But you don’t have to listen. But be cautious when tearing a person a part of something that is, has been and always will be a part of who they are.
Something I think that goes hand in hand with the talking bit is…well, complaining. I don’t mean to complain. In fact, I don’t have much to complain about. It’s just me talking. I share my every thought for some daggon reason. I can’t explain why. And I actually didn’t notice I do it until someone said to me this weekend You’re the loudest whiner. Oh, gee. Thanks? Sorry?
Am I really that awful of a person to be around? Is talking a lot really that big of a deal? I have stories to tell, but you don’t have to listen.