When you stop missing something [34]

I had a strange revelation today.  And it’s one I’m kind of afraid and ashamed to admit.

When we first moved here to Georgia, I would have done anything, and I mean anything, just to go home.  I missed the house I grew up in.  I missed the comfort of home. I missed how safe I felt and how protected I knew I was.  I missed feeling like I was still a teenager even though I was well into my twenties.  I missed home.  And I worried I always would.  I feared I’d always feel like I was out of place anywhere but there.  I hated how much my life changed.  I hated how I knew things would never ever go back to the way they were because they couldn’t.

[the only place I ever really called home my whole life]

It put a lot of strain on my very new marriage.  Somewhere deep inside I kind of resented my husband for accomplishing a dream he’d had since we started dating: grad school at UGA.  He pulled me away from everything and everyone I loved.  I lived in a box, not a home.

We’ve been married for nearly 10 months.  And we’ve lived here for nine months.  In that time, we’ve acquired one more cat and a dog.  The five of us live here in our tiny two bedroom apartment.  And lately hubs and I have been chatting a whole heck of a lot about what’s next.  Where to?  Our lease ends here in July and the sky’s the limit.  Which has gotten me thinking and opening my mind to a whole bunch of new possibilities.  And I didn’t realize until now how much good it does me.  We’ve been traveling so much lately that I feel relief when we open the door to our home. I feel comfort as long as my little family is near.  We’ve become our own little unit.

And this morning while I was getting ready it hit me: I am home.  And I am no longer completely consumed with that I miss home feeling.  Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family and friends.  But I’m so happy that it’s finally hit me.

Wherever we are together is home.

Does that mean we’re grown ups now?  Man, that sucks.


About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
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