When you stop missing something [34]

I had a strange revelation today.  And it’s one I’m kind of afraid and ashamed to admit.

When we first moved here to Georgia, I would have done anything, and I mean anything, just to go home.  I missed the house I grew up in.  I missed the comfort of home. I missed how safe I felt and how protected I knew I was.  I missed feeling like I was still a teenager even though I was well into my twenties.  I missed home.  And I worried I always would.  I feared I’d always feel like I was out of place anywhere but there.  I hated how much my life changed.  I hated how I knew things would never ever go back to the way they were because they couldn’t.

[the only place I ever really called home my whole life]

It put a lot of strain on my very new marriage.  Somewhere deep inside I kind of resented my husband for accomplishing a dream he’d had since we started dating: grad school at UGA.  He pulled me away from everything and everyone I loved.  I lived in a box, not a home.

We’ve been married for nearly 10 months.  And we’ve lived here for nine months.  In that time, we’ve acquired one more cat and a dog.  The five of us live here in our tiny two bedroom apartment.  And lately hubs and I have been chatting a whole heck of a lot about what’s next.  Where to?  Our lease ends here in July and the sky’s the limit.  Which has gotten me thinking and opening my mind to a whole bunch of new possibilities.  And I didn’t realize until now how much good it does me.  We’ve been traveling so much lately that I feel relief when we open the door to our home. I feel comfort as long as my little family is near.  We’ve become our own little unit.

And this morning while I was getting ready it hit me: I am home.  And I am no longer completely consumed with that I miss home feeling.  Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family and friends.  But I’m so happy that it’s finally hit me.

Wherever we are together is home.

Does that mean we’re grown ups now?  Man, that sucks.

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About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
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