Tonight I sat down to the computer with a mind full of ideas and questions. Which seems to be the norm these days. I feel like this 100 days of blogging will be much different than the last go round, and maybe I apologize for that. The last time it was all about the writing. But this time, I feel like it’s more like a personal journey. I’m in a weird place in my life, and I’m trying to find my footing. And maybe by the end of these 100 days I’ll have found it. Maybe not. Maybe I’ll live my entire life and never find it. Wow, how horrible that would be, huh?
I’m home during the days for now. And one of my favorite parts of the day is prepping dinner. I find that act to be so full of love, maybe that’s because my mom cooked us dinner every night. We didn’t go out to eat often. And each of her meals were so full of love. I’m not a good cook by any means. In fact, most of what I make is a guessing game of if it’ll be edible or not when it’s done. I actually said to my husband last night “dinner is ready and sitting on the counter. Please go take a bite and determine if we’re going out tonight or not.” And he’s so good to me. He always eats it, and he always smiles and thanks me for it. Even if it tastes like horse manure. But I digress.
Tonight, I made my mom’s sauce with her meatballs and some sausage. I had it simmering all day which makes my little apartment feel much more like home. Home home. When my husband got home, he asked for me to stay in my office for a little while. He had his giddy smile plastered across his face; I knew he was up to something.
My husband knows 1) how much I love surprises and 2) how difficult it is to surprise me (shh. I’m nosey). So his remedy for Valentine’s Day was to surprise me today–an ordinary, regular day to celebrate our love. And that’s just one of the many reasons I love my husband and feel so safe with him. He knows me. And he loves me anyway.
Again, I’ve gotten off topic. Part of my Valentine’s Day surprise was to watch the movie Eat. Pray. Love. And I’m a big believer in timing. And everything and I mean everything has been speaking to me the last few days. I feel like life has been so full of clues and hints that I’m meant to be doing exactly what I’m doing right now. Now the trick is to figure out how I can pay rent like this. And you know what? I believe all of that will figure itself out, too.
On that note…I’ve only got 2 1/2 chapters left to edit and the book is done. Can you believe that? Funny thing is, I’m scared for it to be done. Because then the real work begins: I have to get someone to like it. And I have to convince someone that I can make more like it and to pay me for it.
It’s no trip from Italy to India then to Bali, but welcome aboard my journey to self (and career) discovery… Won’t you walk with me?