I can’t tell if it’s a blessing or a curse, but I find myself putting myself in other people’s shoes all the time. When someone cries, I cry. When someone is sad, I’m sad. Or I imagine my life like theirs and wonder where they find the strength to deal with whatever it is they’re going through.
A past resident came in yesterday to get a copy of her lease from the apartment she and her husband shared at the start of their marriage. She needed the copy so she could give it to her lawyer. Her divorce lawyer. Her hair was pulled into a messy pony tail on top of her head and her eyes were ringed in red. She had just left a meeting with her lawyer where she learned how dirty of a game her husband was playing. Her heart was broken.
And it got me wondering… How can you go from loving someone to hating them or wanting to hurt them? A husband. A wife. That’s such an intimate relationship. How can you just file them away in a box with all the other exes? You share a life, a whole life, with that person. And then suddenly it’s just done, over?
I was never good at breakups. Even in silly relationships. I didn’t like for my routine to change. But worst of all, I was the one being broken up with. And the realization would always inevitably settle on my heart that someone just didn’t like me anymore. Someone who used to care for me doesn’t any longer. It’s hard to swallow.
Maybe I’m weaker than most, but if my marriage ever crumbled, I’d crumble right with it. I wouldn’t and couldn’t fight. And I can’t imagine ever getting over something like that. Because in a way it’s like death. That person you once loved and saw a future with is now gone. And I know from losing loved ones in the past that something like that just never stops hurting.
My heart goes out to anyone who is or who has ever dealt with something like this. Because you are stronger than I could ever be. I know often times making the choice to divorce is a brave and courageous decision. It’s making the decision to get yourself out of an unhealthy situation. But that probably doesn’t change the situation much. Your heart still probably breaks.