I know that it’s natural to go through phases in your life and in your career, but when you’re supposed to be self motivated to make something happen, it’s hard to get through the difficult phases.
For some reason I’m having, for lack of a better term, an aversion to writing and to my edits. This sounds crazy, I’m sure. But the thought of my edits makes me sick. I’ve actually taken my manuscript and put it in my office (instead of in my work bag) and haven’t even cracked it open in weeks. I wonder if this is similar to writer’s block. But the thing is, I’m sure if I sat down and focused, I’d have no trouble editing my work–I simply don’t want to right now. This is so frustrating to me because I’d gotten so far along in the process and really only have a little bit further to go and I’d be done with this round, but again, the desire just isn’t there.
And when working with something like edits to a novel, I don’t want to go into the work with resentment for it. A novel is something that needs love and attention and nurturing. I feel like I’d be stomping my way through it ripping out what needs to go and barely sprucing up what is there without any tenderness or care. I don’t know if it’s laziness or just a funk I’m in or what would be equivalent to writer’s block for edits, but either way–I just can’t bring myself to go near them right now.
I guess for right now I just have to embrace the phase I’m in and ride it out. But it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.