I had a friend message me today who is about to get married asking me if it’s normal to get pre-wedding jitters. It’s funny to me how something as simple as a message like that can put me right back in her shoes. Ten days til D-Day and freaking out. Freaking out about what exactly? I’m not sure it can be completely pinpointed. But she did a good job identifying that it was most likely just the financial part of the wedding that had her all worried (as is with most brides but they all can’t identify the feeling like that). And it reminded me how I wish someone could have told me that the wedding is one giant distraction from what is really going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful I had an amazingly beautiful wedding. But a bride is so incredibly focused on all the small little details that she may not spend as much time as she wants preparing herself for what’s really about to happen. What did I freak out about during my wedding prep?
-Money. I was pretty much in between jobs almost the entire course of our engagement, and when I was working, it was for basically minimum wage.
-Unexpected scenes. I was worried about everyone (friends, family etc) being on their best behavior. I didn’t want our day to be anything but joyous.
-I freaked out about moving. And if you’re a regular reader, you know I’m still coping with this one. It probably would have been easier had I not moved back into my childhood home after college with my Mom. Leaving home and leaving the people I love the most is still something I deal with on a daily basis.
-Being a good wife. I’m, uhm, a little difficult. I think most women probably are, but most won’t admit that. I’m hard to live with, too. I was worried I would fail miserably. Luckily being a wife, I quickly learned, was something I was just born to do. :)
-Changing my name. I wanted this so badly (you would too if the first four letters of your maiden name were D-I-C-K. Try making it through elementary & middle school with that one :)) But I, like most brides, worried I would lose my identity. I was shocked to find it literally only took ten minutes to erase who I’d been for 23 years.
-Confession: one of the main things that kept me up at night in the days before my wedding? I was terrified my relationship with my best friend would change. I mean beyond living right down the street and/or having slumber parties where we’d crash in my king bed at my parents house. I was scared to death that being married would somehow change me and change us.
All brides are a little freaked out mere days before their weddings. And if they tell you they aren’t, they’re lying. Getting married is a lot to process and a lot to adjust to. I told my friend, and I’ll tell you guys because I like to keep this space honest. Being married is the most amazingly wonderful experiences I’ve ever been blessed to be a part of. It is also probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to adjust to. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it’s messy and scary and we go off script and have to feel it out as we go along. But isn’t all that what life’s really all about?