Today, husband and I went to leave Charlotte after a turbulent weekend. I pulled out the GPS and hit where to : Home. Home. Home is someplace we go together, now. We belong in the same place. I think that’s what gets me the most about being married.
This weekend got me thinking about marriage, without all the glitz and glam that people my age see it as. This weekend I wasn’t a doe eyed girl hoping for a ring and a white gown. I was a married woman spending time with my friends who are in that “honeymoon” stage of their romance still. They’ve been together a little over a year, and when I think back to J and I at that stage, I remember being the exact same way they are now. But J and I are in a different place now. We are married. We share big fights, we’re both so dominant with such strong personalities, opinions and are very very stubborn. We are not afraid to contradict each other. We are not afraid of saying what we think. And when compared with a newer relationship, the differences were glaring.
I’ve got this little leather red book that I collect quotes in that mean something to me. As I flip through the book, though, it’s funny how I can almost detect what phases and moods I went through while searching for the quotes. Right after college, I collected a lot of quotes about life and following your dreams. When I was dreaming and hoping for an engagement, I collected quotes about love and perseverance. When I was scared of where my future was taking me, I collected quotes about courage. Weeks before my wedding, I collected quotes about marriage. And I couldn’t help flipping to those pages tonight when we got home. Because it was funny to me how once we stepped foot back into our home, in our own space, we went right back to our normal selves. Love filled our hearts and we were nice to each other again. Man, marriage. What an adjustment, Eh?
But I felt the need to share some quotes with you that comfort me. I find them almost funny because they are so true. And I remember writing them down months ago wondering if they would ever apply to me.
“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time” Ann Taylor Fleming
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” Simone Signoret
Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson
Marriage is a wonderful thing. It is. It is not for the weak or wary. It is not for those who think they might like each other years from now. Marriage takes true love. Because when you feel like you might utterly dislike the person, the love bubbles back up in your throat and reminds you why you’ve picked them to spend your life with. Marriage doesn’t fix anything. In fact, it often times emphasizes all the issues you had before. You just have to be strong enough to overcome them. Battle them together. That’s why, after all, you’re referred to as partners. No one is ever the same exact person each day. We all have different moods and different sides to us. And hopefully, our partners took the time to know and fall in love with every version of ourselves before marrying us. Because we’re not always lovable, you know. It takes a lot of strength for someone to love us when we are at our worsts. If you’ve found that? Hold on to it. Hold on to it tightly.