forgiven? Definitely not forgotten…

Let’s talk seriously for a second, if we can.  If you could just lend me your ear, and maybe just tell me you know exactly what I mean.  That might help.  But me?  I’m a words person.  And words…well.  They stick with me.

And that is a wonderful horrible thing.  I remember them all.  All if it.  And the fact is, good or bad, they’ll always be there.  And truth be told…I hold on a lot more to the bad than the good.  Because those sting. Most often, when someone is mean to you, you remember the feeling.  Well.  I remember the feelings and what was said.  Always. I could probably relay to you, word for word, every fight I’ve ever had.

And if you ask me?  I’d take sticks and stones any day. I’d much rather have a broken bone or a deep gash.  Because I at least know that those eventually go away.  It’s science.  What’s broken will mend.

I replay things over and over again in my head.  It’s a tape on repeat all the time.  That wears on you.  It breaks you down.  It tears you apart.  And the fact is, I can forgive…but I cannot ever forget.  And that hurts.  Because when I have to play nice, it only makes me hate more.

I ask for strength every single day.  I ask for guidance all the time.  And yet, I haven’t a clue where to begin to fix this.  What do you do when someone has done and said such horrible things, and you still have to play nice?  Because me?  Well.  I can’t forget.  And I don’t want to play nice anymore.


About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
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