(there will probably be a lot of personal posts this week as I finish things up with the book and try to cope with all the emotions that come with it.)
Y’all. I have the entire day off. I have just two simple things on my to do list for today which won’t take me more than an hour to do. On most days that would excite me to no end because it would mean I have the whole day to write. But today, it makes me sad.
I have the whole last chapter mapped out. I don’t do that, you know. Usually when I sit to write a chapter I have no clue at all where it’s going. But everything I’ve written for the last 4 1/2 months has set up this last chapter. And it’s finally time to make those notes I’ve got jotted down on a scrap piece of paper (a post it, actually…) to jump onto the big screen. Well, the tiny screen of my computer, that is. I can’t believe that. I remember the day I decided to start this little journey. Which, in fact, didn’t seem very little at the time. I was scared to death to do this because I was certain I would fail and let myself down.
I knew I needed someone to help me keep my word. I mapped out a writing schedule that I thought I could keep and emailed it to a childhood friend whom I hadn’t spoken much to in a decade. Yes. That’s a real friend right there. Someone so eager to help you even when theres been silence for so long. We knew many years ago, when we’d play morbid games like the leukemia game and play awful tricks on her younger sister that we had a special kind of friendship. But I think the friendship was just too big for us to understand at such a young age. She moved away when we finished middle school. I cried. But soon I got over it. But when she reached out to me via facebook (I mean, c’mon! That’s what that site is for!!) explaining that she’d read my blog post about needing an accountability partner and that she wanted to volunteer for the job…our friendship rekindled as if no time had passed at all. And I am most grateful for her. I could sit here for hours and tell you how she’d talk me back into writing when all I wanted to do was quit or how she would listen to me whine about all the other things going on in my life that were just getting in the way of writing, but it still wouldn’t be enough. Sometimes when I take a step back and look at the people in my life I just can’t believe that I deserve this. I have so much support, and I am forever grateful. And Z–Seriously…this book is for you. I would have stopped after chapter 1 if it weren’t for you. You have given so much more than I could have ever asked for.
Okay guys, I think I’ve put it off long enough. Today is a day I’ll probably remember forever: the day I finished writing the first draft of my very first novel. I can’t swallow those words. I just can’t.