what i almost was

So I have this great group of friends who are wonderfully talented and have fantastic taste in music. I am thankful for both, but mostly for the latter because I have terrible taste in music. And J’s best man is a big Eric Church fan, therefore whenever we go on road trips with E, Eric Church seeps from the speakers at some point. And well, thanks to E we are all pretty big Eric Church fans now. In fact, the 4 of us went and saw him play at the State Fair.

I am pretty much in love with all of his songs, but one got me thinking today: what i almost was…
I was thinking back over pretty significant moments in my life where decisions had to be made or things changed, and I wondered what my life would be like had things gone a little differently.
–If my dad hadn’t gotten frustrated with my 12 year old directional skills, I would have made it to the sleepover and been in the popular crowd in middle and probably all through high school.
–If I hadn’t gone to check on some lonely kid sitting all alone at the school dance, I would have missed out on a wonderful friendship that sadly only lasted through middle school but taught me a lot about people who were different than me.
–If I had been nicer to the guy who sat behind me in my PE squad in eighth grade, I would have missed out on all dating experiences because I’m marrying him now.
–If I had finished painting my finger nails instead of running down the street when a friend said we had new neighbors, I probably wouldn’t have my writing accountability partner.
–If I listened to what my friends at the time were saying about Marching Band, I would have missed out on something I consider one of the biggest parts of my life that provided so many friends, lessons and taught me discipline.
–If I had my way when S asked for K to come over during a get together at my house our Sophomore year, I wouldn’t have my very best friend who is also my maid of honor. {this is one of those things that leaves me eternally grateful to God}
–If I had ignored the stomach pain I had my sophomore year a little longer, I wonder if the outcome would have been a lot worse.
–If I had followed my gut instead of my heart when C begged for me back my junior year, I would never have turned into a person I hated with a past so hard to forget.
–If C had never broken up with me leaving me in pieces, I wouldn’t have one of my bridesmaids today…
–If JC had never backed into my car just before my senior year, my car would have started the afternoon of August 19th, and I probably would still look at J the same way. I would have missed out on the greatest love I’ve ever known.
–If J and I had listened when everyone told us “no,” May 22, 2010 would be just a regular day.
–I wonder if I had applied to UNCW if I would have gotten in and if I would have gone. Then I wonder if J and I would have made it. But I already know that answer, we would have.
–If I didn’t receive the “big envelope” from ASU my freshmen year, would I have ever grown to like WCU?
–If J hadn’t gone to see his grandparents after asking my parents for my hand in marriage, would he have proposed on our Senior Spring Break trip meaning we’d already be married now? I wonder what kind of wife I would have been if so.
–If I hadn’t moved home after graduation, I would probably be so distant from my family now and not just physically. Moving home has given me a new understanding of the importance of “being there.”
There are, I’m sure, hundreds of these “what ifs.” And some are much more life altering than others, but it is still funny to think sometimes about how different our lives would be if things had panned out just a little differently. If we had answered a question differently. If we had taken the advice of others. If we hadn’t rebelled in high school. If we were smarter. If we worked harder. If we listened to the judgements of others. And thinking about these kinds of things helps for me to remember that each moment in our lives is important and affects the future, even if it’s only in a small way. And that, my friends, is a little scary to think about.
My biggest “close call” was being a selfish, backbone-less girl in a loveless relationship. But that was also my biggest lesson.
With all that said, I am very thankful for the way my life has turned out so far. Stay tuned for not only January goals on Jan 1st but somewhat of a prediction for 2010.
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About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
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