do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?-
-green day

Ever feel that way? Ugh. I have these massive “bad moods” that settle in for reasons unknown every once in a while. And while I’m in them, it’s really hard for me to see their end. And then I get even more frustrated because I don’t want to be in a bad mood but I can’t get myself out of it.
I watched an old episode of Grey’s Anatomy a few days ago where that new {at the time} Cardio doctor who was really weird and had no social skills needed her nervous system suppressed by having Dr. Bailey and Dr. Yang hug her really tightly. It got me thinking that maybe that’s just what I need. Have you ever gotten a hug when you really really needed a hug and you find yourself in a puddle of tears and you can’t explain why basically from the relief? I know this sounds crazy, but it makes sense to me, I promise. Maybe I just need a very big hug.
A lot is changing for me in this upcoming year, including J moving six hours away on the second. I’ll confess that when I think about this, it makes me cry. I’ve really gotten spoiled having him around lately, and I really don’t want him to go away. The only thing that is helping me cope with him leaving is knowing that come hell or high water we will be living in the SAME PLACE in {get this} five months. Please God, give me the strength to make it. I know my heart will be aching greatly over the next few months.
The end of the year, my best friend and I were just saying, always puts me in a strange little funk. It’s like I look back over the last year and I’m in awe of all that happened and wonder how we made it through, but then I look back over the last year and feel disappointed in myself for not accomplishing more. Do any of you ever feel that way? It’s like I’m always running out of time. Gosh, before I know it my wedding will be upon us, and I’ll sit and wonder where the last year went. And a confession? I’m a little scared. Not for the whole being “married” part. I love J and couldn’t be more excited about being his wife. I’m just scared about the whole being grown up part. I’ve done a pretty good job of reverting back to a fifteen year old living in my parent’s attic chasing childhood dreams. But the real world is looming, and I’m afraid of it. Because in all honesty…I’m just not cut out to be a grown up. I’m really just not. And not wanting to be grown up makes me think about my Uncle and it just makes me miss him even more. Man, what I’d do just to sit and have a conversation with him now. I could really use his advice these days.
So I guess I’ve whined enough for one post. I know these posts lately have been seriously personal, but if I don’t write what’s on my heart then I’m not writing the truth, and who wants a dishonest writer anyway?
Thank you all for listening to me whine, and please, if any of you ever get in these little funks sometimes let me know. It’s nice to know that misery loves company.
funk funk go away, bother me on another day.

About JoElizabeth

I am a writer who loves to explore all different types of relationships. I am most happy when surrounded by my loved ones and furry children. I've never met a stranger, and I talk way too much. My favorite things to do are eat {preferably at a restaurant} with good friends, write, watch DVDs of TV series {especially FRIENDS}, drink lots of coffee and learn.
This entry was posted in ramblings. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s