I’m HALFWAY there! This little project has already done what I hoped it would, which is bring writing to the forefront of my life (just where it should be). YAY!
Today I am forced to ask myself the question “where is my niche?” I know what I’d like to do for the rest of my life if it were all left to me, but depsite what all teachers tell you when you are young–you cannot be “anything you want to be.” Things just don’t always work out that way. I hate the be the bearer of bad news, but I just feel so trapped sometimes within the restraints of my abilities, and I really wish I could go back to my little eight year old self and explain that dreams are fine, but you must also be practical.
I do want to be a writer, and I am a writer. But right now I cannot make a living out of it. Man, do I wish I could. If I had things my way I’d sit in my home office (which is yet to exist) and write away all day long. Maybe if I win the lottery one day I can do that. Or perhaps when I don’t have a wedding to pay for (but then comes real life, right?)
So what is a girl to do during the “in-between?” I’ve found that having a job to pay the bills really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, no matter what I’m doing because it isn’t what I want to do. I know, I just need to put my big girl panties on and deal with it, which I’m trying to. But just because my dream is a little out of reach right now, does that mean I am destined to hate my job? I just don’t see that as fair.
I’m at a crossroad, and I’m trying to get things on the right track. I’ve just lost my map.