Of all the things I’d miss when I go, I’d miss you the most…
Today’s assignment: Tell me what you will miss when you die.
I will miss coffee. Coffee with lots of sugar and cream. I will miss frightfully cold winter nights spent by the fire underneath a mantle with a ridiculous number of stockings hanging from it. I will miss the boisterous and chaotic family gatherings that always leave us wishing we all lived closer. I will miss his hugs. The ones that make my stress melt and my love grow. I will miss being silly the love of my life. I will miss all things puppyshaker. all things. I will miss watching my nieces and nephews grow from tiny, adorable little babies into beautiful, amazing people. I will miss my mom’s company, stories, cooking. Heck, I’d miss all things mom. I will miss waking up in the middle of the night to find Webster sprawled out sound asleep next to me. I will miss meeting and getting to know new people. I will miss chinese food. and japanese food. and seafood. I will miss writing. I will miss FRIENDS. I will miss the kind of moments that become lifelong memories.
Most of all, I’ll miss the people who have made my life so wonderful. I’ll miss the places that hold so many memories. I will miss laughing and crying. I will miss feeling emotions. I will miss reading stories that melt my heart.
Part of me is having a hard time being sad when I think about my time to leave. I know it is something that should either scare me or devastate me, or both. But I can’t help but feeling peace when I think about it. I will be with my Lord and Savior in a place where all is safe and wonderful. I can’t help but be excited to see Uncle John again, and all the ones we loved who left before and after him. As wonderful as everything may seem on this earth–there is so much better waiting for us. Just you wait and see.
What scares me the most about dying isn’t what will necessarily affect me. What I’m most afraid of is knowing (or not knowing) what I leave behind. The people I love the most.